sounds so plastic, fake, and just nauseating doesn't it? lately when i force myself to think about joy i just get angry. i shouldn't but i do. i get angry because i think. . . how can i be joyful when i'm averaging a grand total of 4 hours of sleep a night? (i'm a person who needs 8 to function). when my 2 year old fights me on every thing? when i just want a consistent routine? when i need a break to just breath? when i need a friend who truly understands and will come along side me every day to encourage me? when i desperately want to lose this weight i've been carrying for far too long but everything seems to be working against me (breast feeding helps you lose weight right? if only i were that lucky.) how can i feel joyful when i just feel like i cannot go on?
*enter deep breath*
i can feel joyful because . . just because. i'd run out of reasons listing all the reasons i can feel joyful. let's start with the fact that my kids are healthy. my husband has a steady job. we have little debt. my husband loves me and even though he is stressed out a LOT he is still encouraging and patient with me.
i can feel joyful because God has us in the palm of his hand.
i'm struggling ya'll. these are hard days. but i know they won't last. they will give way to days that a hard in different ways but i know it will only get easier to be joyful.
also, if you're reading this and thinking: what do you have to complain about? you have a great life! i do have a great life and i recognize that but it doesn't make these hard days of small child rearing any easier lately. i'm just being honest.
i cling to this verse daily...
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17
